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Leading and Following in Tango

January 21, 2016

The tradition in partner dances is for men to lead and women to follow. 

Historically, partner dances were a way for men and women to meet, interact and flirt. And in regard to performances or competitions, these were almost always danced by a man and a woman. In recent years this conventional way of thinking has begun to change. This was especially apparent in 2013 at the World Tango Championships in Buenos Aires. For the first time same-sex couples were allowed to enter the competition, thus achieving a big leap in the evolution of Argentine tango.

BATangoChampionship

Its a big leap as many still want to hold on tight to traditional Tango and traditional ways of thinking. Years ago I took a class with an Argentine Tango instructor that lectured us on why tango should be danced by only a man and a woman. He told us that the man’s masculinity and the woman’s femininity are the synthesis of what Tango is about. I do not disagree with this line of thinking as there is something special and unique when opposite energies combine and complement each other.  Tango encompasses yin and yang, the harmony of both masculine and feminine energies.

This being said, that does not mean a dance by same sex couples can not also be beautiful, unique, dynamic or even sexy.  See for yourself:

Sebastián & César

Or with this clip of Ariadna Naveira & Paola Motillo:

I do believe that people naturally feel more comfortable in one role or the other and this often has little to do with gender. Some men love to follow and some women prefer to lead. And still others enjoy being able to do both.

When I first began dancing Tango in the late 1990’s it was not common to see women leading. (But men would dance together as that is a known part of Tango history). The few women that did lead were usually dance instructors. When I expressed interest in taking a beginner class as a leader, I was strongly discouraged. Upon arriving in San Francisco in 2008, I found a community much more open to women leading or men following. In classes, people were referred to as Leaders or Followers and often my partner and I would switch rolls so we could both learn the lead and follow.  Plus the long running all women Tango performance group, Tango Con*fusion helped to open minds as to what is possible with same sex tango dancing.

And yet even with all this open minded thinking, it was still not common to find same sex couples on the dance floor of milongas, even here in San Francisco. I remember a time when a female friend ended up in tears for leading at a popular milonga. She was chastised and made to feel uncomfortable for wanting to lead in a place where this was just not done.

Yes, there are queer and “switch” tango events and in classes, same sex couples will dance together if the classes are unbalanced. But typically, men lead and women follow, with very few exceptions. However in the past few years, I’ve noticed a trend of far more same sex couples dancing at milongas. A new generation of dancers have come up that are fluent in both leading and following, many having learned to do this from their very first class. A few tango schools follow this curriculum such as Oxygen Tango in LA and The 8th Style School of Tango in Seattle.  And probably many more in San Francisco and across the U.S. that I don’t know about. Mitra Martin of Oxygen Tango has an excellent post about why women should learn to lead in Tango.

A few months ago a friend gathered a few advanced followers together to take a workshop to learn how to lead. This was an enthusiastic group of ladies that quickly increased in numbers. After the first 6 week course, we have since started up a few practicas to continue our skills and more workshops are lined up. Its wonderful to have a group of advanced dancers to dance with and improve upon our leading skills together.

For me, learning to lead is sort of like figuring out how a puzzle fits together. I’m excited to grow in my understanding of this dynamic and intricate dance. As a leader I get to initiate my partners step and invite the rhythm of our movements. And when dancing with an advanced follower, our combined skills elevate the dance to another level.

To gather more opinions on this topic I asked my fellow advanced followers about why they wanted to learn how to lead. They were very generous on sharing their thoughts.  This is what they had to say:

P.L: I just started to practice leading, after six years as a follower. I used to watch followers dance but about a year ago I started watching the leaders, and “pretending” to lead in solo practice. It is so wonderful to feel how followers sort of surrender to the leader, as I didn’t perceive myself doing that when I danced. Leading helped me to understand and appreciate the challenges of my dance partners, and the work they put into learning the dance.

J.L: About 10 years ago a tango teacher that I had a crush on, in another city, said he initially was attracted to me because of my dancing. Then, he changed his mind and told me he no longer liked the way I dance. I was so crushed I stopped dancing Tango for two weeks! After two weeks I said “If I can’t follow, I’ll try leading.”

D.Y: I think that learning the other role gives you much more insight on your primary role — and this is true for both followers and leaders. My favorite leaders tend to be those who have spent some time learning to follow as well. Beyond the deeper awareness of the structure of the dance, there’s also a tactical feedback that’s useful. Often I will lead women who do something I like, maybe they have a very slinky side step or something, and I can note that it feels good and that I should try it when I follow. Conversely, if a follower does something that I find uncomfortable as a leader, then I can note to work on that in my own following.

C.P:  I started leading a couple of years after I started following — I LOVE leading. I LOVE following. In both roles my experience has as much to do with my partner and the music as anything else. People ask me all the time which role I prefer. My answer is always “It depends.” Sometimes I walk into a milonga and take a look around and then decide which role I’m doing. Generally speaking, though, when I want to interpret the music the way I want to, I lead. When I get bored with myself and want to experience alternative steps and musical interpretations, I follow (which informs my leading). When I want to “zone out” and close my eyes, I follow. When I want to make connections with the giant amoeba moving around me and be part of a fun “train” in my lane, I lead (though this assumes a level of skill and awareness among other leaders). I love being able to dance with fabulous leaders and followers.

I.R:  I initially wanted to learn to lead to understand better how to follow. It turns out that being able to feel what another follower does, makes so much more sense to me! As I got a little better at leading, I realized that there are some amazing followers, who don’t dance much. (I am not sure why, and I really don’t get why some of the good leaders don’t appreciate them!) Anyway, this is how I figured out that if I have to choose between dancing with a man with good technique and little musicality and dancing with a woman with good technique and excellent musicality, I much more prefer the woman.  So for me, dancing with a partner with a nice ear for the music and a nice embrace is fun regardless of gender. And so it turns out I am learning how to lead for the exact same reason I initially learned to follow: I randomly danced with some people that were really fun, and so I want to keep doing it.

M.Y: I began leading simply out of impatience. I didn’t like sitting around waiting for someone to ask me! But once I started, I saw so many beautiful things come out of it that I was so glad I had started and extended it to tango. It changed my dancing. I understood more; more of where I could play in the dance, more about the dynamics of movement and how to respond to impulses and how to play with the components. I really enjoyed– elasticity, height dynamics, compression. I loved creating. I loved feeling creative. It felt empowering and it was an awesome way to hang out with the girls in tango. To speak to the “girls in the tango world,” I definitely attribute a small portion to the “defiantly feminist” box, determined to lead in places where it isn’t socially acceptable, determined to wear my flats when people regularly think it’s okay to criticize and judge what I put on, or to assume my sexual identity by what I’m doing. More importantly than anything, I have found a new language that I can use to express things our language has no words for, and can connect with the people I love to express my appreciation and adoration more eloquently than I could otherwise.

All of these ladies say it well!  Yes, leading is empowering! Perhaps much like civil liberties that have been achieved over time, allowing equal opportunity to lead or follow at milongas, performances or competitions, is another step in equality.

I am wondering what is the future of Tango?  Will it soon become common to see an equal mix of same sex couples dancing at the milongas? I have a feeling that some day soon, a cabeceo will be directed by and toward either a man or woman and same sex couples on the dance floor will be common place. Progress is inevitable.

Filed Under: Learning Tango, Musings Tagged With: Argentine Tango, Bay Area Tango, Leading and Following, San Francisco Tango, SF Tango

Comments

  1. Janet Lott says

    January 22, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    Great article!

  2. Felipe Martinez says

    February 9, 2016 at 11:22 pm

    Buenos Aires, 1992:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=ym-tGOUZfk8&app=desktop

Tango scenes in SF

sflovestango

Celebrate #bayareatango community, support everyone involved & share ♥️ of #tango with San Francisco Bay Area and beyond.

sflovestango
🧨 New year, new beginnings! One happened yester 🧨 New year, new beginnings! One happened yesterday at @thetangodome – first Women's Gathering hosted by @ayano.yoneda.tango, including folks who identify as women.

Part clothing & shoe swap, and part cultivating a safe space to be vulnerable, be generous, be supportive, and be real with each other.

Looking forward to more of this and building a community that keeps involving what tango events can be beyond the dance! 🙌 
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#tango #argentinetango #tangoargentino #tangolovers #womenintango #bayareatango #sisterhood #beyondthedance
As the year-end approaches, many SF local tango ev As the year-end approaches, many SF local tango events have had or will have their last event of 2022 to wrap things up. This year's last Milonga Rubia al Sur happened this past Sunday, Dec 18 with DJ @ayano.yoneda.tango and special performance with visiting artist, @martinalmironartist, and milonga host, Lisette @passion4tango. 

With the holidays coming up and Argentina winning the world cup, dancing tango all night long around Lisette's very own flower arrangements was just the appropriate celebration people needed.

Hosted by Lisette Perelle, Milonga Rubia is held every 1st & 3rd Sunday of the month, with current location at Just Dance Ballroom (2500 Embarcadero) in Oakland and a different DJ for each event.

✨ Fun fact - how Milonga Rubia got its name... ✨

Lisette's Argentine friends have always been calling her 'Rubia' because of her blonde hair. One day about 6 years ago, when she was discussing naming this new milonga with @julian_tangosf, he said, “Why not just call it Milonga Rubia?" That's how Milonga Rubia got its name! The event once was in a venue in Emeryville/Richmond. Once Lisette changed venues to a more southern location (Just Dance Ballroom in Oakland), the event's name was changed to 'Milonga Rubia al Sur' accordingly.
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#tango #tangoargentino #argentinetango #tangoevent #sundayfunday #milonga #milonganight #socialdancing #bailemos #embrace #tangodancers #bayareatango #oakland #keepdancing #dancingislife #weekendrecap
Last Saturday, Saturday Dec 17, @abrazoqueertango Last Saturday, Saturday Dec 17, @abrazoqueertango hosted their Holiday Bash with performances by @mirabtango and Miranda at @tangodome, a cool art gallery and dance space at 951 62nd St in Oakland.

🏳️‍🌈 Abrazo Queer Tangois a volunteer-run organization, and after expenses, all funds are used to pay for their events and offer discounts to students and folks short on cash. To help the org break even in 2022 and fund its 2023 programs, last Saturday's event was positioned as a fundraiser with a sliding scale $20-$40 for folks to choose how they'd like to show their support, offering a sweet night of performance, community and great music in a magical location. 

Missed the event yet still would like to support Queer Tango? Donations always totally work! Please write *donation* in the comment via your favorite method:
Venmo ➡️ abrazo-tango (Karen Curtis)
Paypal ➡️ abrazoqueertango@gmail.com
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#tango #tangoargentino #argentinetango #tangoevent #specialevents #milonga #saturdayvibe #socialdancing #bailemos #embrace #tangodancers #bayareatango #queertango #oakland #keepdancing #dancingislife #weekendrecap
💫 #motivationmonday is not over yet so here is 💫 #motivationmonday is not over yet so here is a quick recap of the International Day of Tango at @greatnorthernsf last night! 💫 Milonga hosted by @julian_tangosf with DJ @loco_chung. 
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#diadeltango #tango #tangoargentino #argentinetango #tangoevent #specialevents #milonga #sundayfunday #socialdancing #bailemos #embrace #tangodancers #bayareatango #sanfrancisco #keepdancing #dancingislife #weekendrecap
This Friday night in the heart of San Francisco, t This Friday night in the heart of San Francisco, tango dancers and the public who are curious art lovers had a unique experience with live music performed by local tango musicians and the strategic mix of TANGO • VALS • MILONGA • ALTERNATIVE music by DJ @jonas.aqui of @jxtango at @drawingroomsf_annex, an art • gallery • studio in the Mission district – a free event by the collaboration of @chetangosf, @drawingroomsf and @artistmigration. 

Artists featured:
Sumi Lee (piano) @sfsumi
J Ramada (bass)
Basma Edrees (violin) @basmaedreesviolin
Verónica Freidkes (vocal) @veroverofreidkes

Check out our stories and story highlights for snippets of the performances and tango dancing around art pieces!
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❣️ about Che! Tango SF❣️

All events created by Ramada Salieri and Elaine Chiu are dedicated to providing an inclusive and friendly dancing and learning environment in San Francisco and the Bay Area regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religion, or any other characteristic or trait.

ONGOING EVENTS
Che! Milonga: Every 1st and 2nd Saturday of the month 
Che! Música + Milonga: Once every quarter on a 2nd Saturday
Milonga Uno: 3rd Saturday of every other month
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❣️ about The Drawing Room SF ❣️

MISSION
The Drawing Room connects community through art to help improve the overall human condition by making art accessible and part of the daily fabric of our lives. 
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❣️about Artist Migration❣️

ANTI CAPITALIST ART
Artist-led curatorial project providing performance and exhibition opportunities to international artists.
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#tango #tangoargentino #argentinetango #concert #milonga #specialevent #onenightonly #livemusic #fridaynights #art #tangomusic #contemporarymusic #contemporarytango #womenintango #womeninmusic #artislife  #tangomusicians #musiciansofinstagram #sanfrancisco #california #bayareatango #sflovestango #jxtango
Those who came out to @tangolabruja last night had Those who came out to @tangolabruja last night had an epic evening of dancing and live music with three highly skillful tango musicians’ improvised music – Trio Tangazo, a dynamite tango trio made up of Sascha Jacobsen (bass), Seth Asarnow (piano), and Adrian Jost (bandoneon). 

~~Fun fact~~
Sascha, Seth and Adrian all performed at La Bruja previously - either with other tango ensembles or in duo - but it was the first time all three of them taking the stage together!

📍 @berkeleycityclub 
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#tango #concert #milonga #milonganight #specialevent #onenightonly #tangomusic #improvisation #travelingmusician #musiciansofinstagram #california #berkeley #bayareatango #tangomusicians #tangodancers #socialdance #dancingislife #sflovestango
🥧 Tomorrow is Thanksgiving so @milongamalevaje 🥧 Tomorrow is Thanksgiving so @milongamalevaje is closed for that matter, but here is something different & fun from last Thursday 😉 with DJ @jonas.aqui, courtesy of hosts @tanguera_e, Ramada Salieri and Adolfo Caszarry.

Have a wonderful holiday everyone!
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#tango #tangoargentino #argentinetango #milonga #milonganight #tangoevent #tangoalternativo #alternativetango #tangonuevo #embrace #bailar #bailemos #socialdance #partnerdance #tangodancers #dancingislife #bayareatango #sanfrancisco #sflovestango
✨ FRIDAY NIGHT TANGO ✨ It’s been awhile sin ✨ FRIDAY NIGHT TANGO ✨

It’s been awhile since Milonga La Genesis (hosted by @julian_tangosf) has live tango music. Last night LEO TANGASSO QUARTET was in the house, featuring @leogassomusic from Montevideo, Uruguay on bandoneon,  @smurfetteshum on piano, Stella Bonilla on violin,  @digsmahler on double bass.

(🎥 @tangonnection, edited by @sflovestango)
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#tango #argentinetango #tangoargentino #specialevent #bayareatango #tangomusic #livemusic #tangomusicians #bandoneon #piano #doublebass #violin #quartet #onenightonly #milonganight #sanfrancisco #sflovestango
👏 The all-female tango ensemble, 𝙇𝙖𝙨 𝘼𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙨, wrapped up their 2022 concert tour at @alameda_elks1015, playing for a full house of guests at the @housetango Community Milonga.

𝙇𝙖𝙨 𝘼𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙨 is a collaboration between powerhouse female tango musicians @sfsumi (piano), @heynisolera (bandoneon), and @teagbby (violin). Their concert on Sunday featured guest bassist @fabricanfabricant and vocalist @teresatam.sing.

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The mission of 𝙇𝙖𝙨 𝘼𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙨 is to present contemporary Argentine tango through virtuosic artistic performance and educational events.  Sumi, Heyni, and Teagan originally bonded in Buenos Aires, drawn by a mutual love of tango music, as well as by a realization of the inequality of professional opportunity for women in the tango genre. They studied under the same maestros and performed with prestigious tango orchestras in Buenos Aires.  They now frequently perform around the world, including in their respective adopted cities of San Francisco (Sumi), Washington, DC (Heyni), and NYC (Teagan). All of the musicians also produce their own music. 
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#tango #concert #milonga #specialevent #onenightonly #tangomusic #contemporarymusic #contemporarytango #womenintango #womeninmusic #travelingmusician #heynibando #tour #beautifulwomen #musiciansofinstagram #sanfrancisco #california #berkeley #oakland #bayareatango #tangomusicians
🎉 Saturday, October 22 marked the grand re-open 🎉 Saturday, October 22 marked the grand re-opening of Vecher Tango at the Russian Center of SF!

After a long pause of two and a half year, the magnificent grand ballroom was filled with tango energy again. What made the occasion extra special was the incredible performances by another visiting master couple @javierchikk & @moiracastellano. To top it off, @virginiaychristian "Los Totis" joined Javier & Moira on the floor for a mixed maestros dance!

Shout-out to our dearest friend Davood Yazdani, Julia Schiptsova of Tango Element, and all the local organizers for making this weekend feel like a mini tango festival in San Francisco!
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#tango #argentinetango #argentinetango♥️ #tangoargentino #milonganight #tangoperformance #bailar #bailemos #bailando #tangoshow #tangoevent #tangodancer #tangocouple #specialevent #onenightonly #tangophoto
✨It's a star-struck tango week in SF!!✨ @vir ✨It's a star-struck tango week in SF!!✨ 

@virginiaychristian "Los Totis" have been teaching in San Francisco (brought to you by our very own Davood Yazdani who's in collaboration with Julia Schiptsova of Tango Element!) And we were mesmerized by their fantastic performances last night at the special edition of @milongamalevaje at @verdiclubsf ! 🤩👏
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#tango #argentinetango #argentinetango♥️ #tangoargentino  #tangoperformance #bailar 
#bailemos #bailando #tangoshow  #tangoevent #tangoperformance #tangodancer #tangocouple #specialevent #onenightonly #tangophoto
💫 Exactly a year later, 𝙇𝙖𝙨 𝘼𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙨, an all-female tango musician collaboration, has returned to the SF Bay Area!! 

Last night they took the audience on a magical journey to Buenos Aires with a concert-milonga at @tangolabruja in Berkeley. Check out our stories to see more snippets of their performance!

𝙇𝙖𝙨 𝘼𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙨 is a collaboration between powerhouse female tango musicians @sfsumi (piano), @heynisolera (bandoneon), and @teagbby (violin). The concert last night featured guest singer @veroverofreidkes.

The mission of 𝙇𝙖𝙨 𝘼𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙨 is to present contemporary Argentine tango through virtuosic artistic performance and educational events. Sumi Lee, Heyni Solera, and Teagan Faran originally bonded in Buenos Aires, drawn by a mutual love of tango music, as well as by a realization of the inequality of professional opportunity for women in the tango genre. They studied under the same maestros and performed with prestigious tango orchestras in Buenos Aires.  They now frequently perform around the world, including in their respective adopted cities of San Francisco (Sumi), Washington, DC (Heyni), and NYC (Teagan). All of the musicians also produce their own music. 

Catch them for the rest of their tour!
🔸10/20 (Thur) 10pm, World Folk Jam concert w/ ten other world music groups, Oakland
🔸10/21 (Fri) 7pm, Sebastopol Center for the Arts
🔸10/22 (Sat) 7:30pm, Sunset Music and Arts, San Francisco
🔸10/23 (Sun) 3:30pm, houseTango Community Milonga @ Alameda Elks Lodge, Alameda
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#tango #concert #milonga #specialevent #onenightonly #tangomusic #contemporarymusic #contemporarytango #womenintango #womeninmusic #travelingmusician #heynibando #tour #beautifulwomen #musiciansofinstagram #sanfrancisco #california #berkeley #oakland #bayareatango
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